I'm depressed and lost the taste of life

[Seifazouz]

I'm sorry but I'm so depressed this bacteria has stolen my life.
In 2018 I got an ulcer and gastritis from this horrible horrible bacteria but at this time I didn't know anything I did a scope and the doctor gave me medications it was a classic quadruple therapy Amoxcilline + Clarythromicyne + Metronidazole and PPI so I finished the treatment and I didn't had any side effect at all expect a bit of diarrhea I felt better but my symptomps are not completly gone I did not even made a test after the treatment but afer few months I made a breath and stool test both were positive so I wend to the doctor and he gave me Pylera so after only one day I almost died with this antibiotic he gave horrible horrible panic attacks I went to the ER many times for many days these panic attacks lasts form months that was miserable so I started taking antidepressant and after few weeks these panic attacks started to subside but it was very painful so after this episode I became pharmacophobic even a simple pill of paracetamol make me very anxious so after that I made a natural protocol to inhibit H.pylori and to heal my stomach with multiple supplements (mastic gum,zinc l carnosine, slippery elm, monolaurin, NAC ...°) and many others I was taking these supplements for 3 or 4 months and I felt very very well I almost forgot this bacteria and I was able to regain my life again but sadly in the begining of this year this awful bacteria returned and gave me an erosive gastritis and duedonitis I was crying all days because I know that I can't take these antibiotics again and I know that the only antibiotic that I cand handle is amoxicilline so I told the doctor to prescripe me the dual therapy with amoxicilline 3gr and Esomeprazole 80mg for 14 days we don't have vonoprazan here in my country so he gave me esomeprazole I did these therapy 2 months ago I did not tested yet because my stomach won't heal my gastritis is still here and I'm still on PPI but I gain some appetite I'm pretty sure that the bacteria is not gone yet I'm planning to do another scope in few days but I'm still taking the PPI and I can't stop them but anyway I'm afraid of all the other antibiotics levofloxacine metronidazole and tetracycline the only one that I probably will do it's Rifabutin because I read so many testimonials for people who went to the ER because of Pylera and do very well with rifabutin therapy so do you think that I can handle the rifabutin ?
I'm so depressed righht now I really really lost the taste of life I can't even sleep more than 6 hours because of that